Entrance Exams
by Lavender Feline
Summary: Studying for high school entrance exams is difficult enough, but when your life feels like a series of failures and rejections, it can be overwhelming.


Important stuff to know:  
In Japan, students have to take entrance exams to get into high school. They're VERY difficult and how good you do depends on what schools you can get into. Everyone takes them except kids in private 'escalator' schools that have everything from kindergarten-college in the same school system. Those students advance automatically (Like Rei in Sailor Moon! Or in this case, Ken.)

Many students have psychological episodes and the highest amount of teenage suicide is around the entrance exam period. (No, no suicide or anything that dark in this fic, don't worry!) So yeah, it's really really really stressful. Your high school effects largely what colleges you get into. That is what this's based on. Yeah. That and taisuke. 'Cause y'know... it's me!

Only real other translation note is 'ronin', sorry there's no good English word for it. A ronin is someone that fails to pass any college exams and has to study for another year before they're allowed to try to get in again. It's looked upon as a real failure. ;; The anime 'Maison Ikkoku' deals a lot with the subject.

Entrance Exams

Get up, go to school, go home and study, sleep. Do it again, and again, and again. It wasn't as if he wasn't trying, this had been his schedule for months now. He'd barely been able to make it to soccer practice, and his performance was suffering from the lack of practice. Of course, it was like that for everyone right now, right? Well... except for lucky kids like Ken, who got into expensive escalator schools young. Except for smart kids like Takeru and Hikari, who barely seemed to notice that the high school entrance exams were right around the corner. Hell, what corner? They started TOMORROW.

In fact, the only person who seemed to be getting sick over this whole thing was him... just him. Once again he was the dummy. Once again, he was the only one who was going to fail, no matter what he did. And once again, everyone thought it was funny. "Oh, don't worry, it's just Daisuke, he'll bounce back from anything!"

Daisuke growled and stabbed the tip of his pencil into his notebook, breaking the tip and leaving a nice hole in the middle of his notes. It was two in the morning and he had to be up in four hours for class. Then it would begin... test after test, all to see if he was worthy enough to get into a decent high school with his friends. Or would he fail and end up in one of those less than perfect schools that practically guaranteed you'd be flipping burgers for the rest of your life? At the moment, it seemed unlikely he'd be that lucky. A high school ronin, that's what he was going to be. His father would kill him...

"Shit!" Daisuke screamed and slammed his math book shut, throwing it against the wall. He winced, hoping he didn't wake anyone up with the sudden noise. His parents were already angry enough at him for not aiming for a better school, for not passing more of the practice tests, for not being BETTER at anything. He sighed and threw himself onto his bed, burying his head under a pillow. The past year had been his own personal hell. First he'd told his parents he wasn't interested in those big fancy schools. They weren't happy. "Why the hell would I wanna do that, anyway! No one I know is going anywhere else... and all the older guys are there. Taichi-senpai even said he'd get me onto the soccer team for sure!" Daisuke grinned slightly. That was something, at least. Although the truth was he knew he couldn't pass the difficult tests to get into the ritzy high schools that would guarantee him a good college, a good job, and therefore a good life.

"'Course... maybe it'd help if I hadn't come out at the same time," Daisuke mumbled to himself, turning over in bed and reaching to pet Chibimon instinctively. The small digimon wasn't there of course; he'd gone to Ken's for the night so Daisuke could have some quiet to study and rest up. Suddenly he wondered if that had been a bad idea. The room was so quiet without his friend there to distract him. He sighed and let his mind wander back to it, the day he'd become the 'bad son' to his parents, the kid they didn't want to admit was theirs in public. "So it woulda been a good idea not to tell them 'Hey, mom, dad! I've decided not to try for an 'A' school! Oh, and by the way, I'm gay!' huh? Me and my big mouth..."

Daisuke sat up in bed and growled. Everything he'd ever wanted had been pulled away from him. First he'd had no friends in grade school until he became one of the Chosen... except of course Hikari, who'd been more of a stalkee than a friend. Then the digital world came and there went his grades. He wasn't stupid, but he had to have time to study to pass tests, and after everything that happened, he hadn't had time to keep up his average scores. Instead his grades bombed, leaving him at the bottom of the class. Then everything was over and he had time to study, but puberty hit and... "I made a total ass of myself." Daisuke stood and grabbed his emergency pair of shoes from his closet, putting them on. "Stupid... couldn't learn from the way everyone mocked me for liking Hikari-chan, no... I had to act the same way about her brother."

The night air was cold when Daisuke opened his window, and he wondered for a minute if it was worth going back inside to grab a jacket... but all his jackets were in the living room closet, where someone might hear him, where someone might ask what he was doing out of his room-where he should be studying. He slipped out the window onto the rickety iron emergency exit ladder that had been installed as a safety measure. Ironically it seemed a danger in and of itself. Rusted through and creaky, Daisuke often wondered if it'd fall on someone-or him-walking into the building one day. The thought made him shudder, but he climbed down slowly, thankful that they were only a few stories up. A gust of wind blew by, rattling the ladder even more, and forced him to remember his slight fear of heights. "Just 'cause XV-mon isn't my own personal jet like SOME people's digimon... maybe then I'd be used to it like everyone else," he mumbled to himself, finally stepping off the ladder onto the safety of the paved parking lot.

Instantly he was off running. He wasn't sure where to, it wasn't like he had anything with him, he'd have to go home in a few hours to get his things for school. Right now that wasn't a concern. He just wanted to run again. He hadn't gotten a good exercise in weeks, his soccer practice cut short by extra seminars and tutoring. The night was breezy and the cold air burned his lungs, but he kept running. When had this happened? When had the fun loving, easy going Daisuke turned into this? "When did I start to fail at everything!" Daisuke growled and gritted his teeth, running harder and barely noticed when he almost got run over crossing an intersection. "Why the hell did I have to like Taichi-senpai!" The pain that had just begun to heal a year ago began again, as if an emotional scar had been ripped open within him.

Hikari's rejection of him had been official much later than he needed it. He'd practically forgotten how he used to think of the girl by the time she said it. Apparently she'd never quite been sure of his feelings, so when she invited him over for the "Let's just be friends" speech it hit him hard. Stupid Takeru, why couldn't he leave well enough alone! Why did he have to tell Hikari how Daisuke had felt? He didn't even like her anymore, so her rejection just burned that much worse. Like she had to be certain that someone like HIM didn't like someone like HER. Of course that wasn't true-she'd been trying to be nice. But it was then that Daisuke realized she'd never felt anything for him other than a mild friendship because they were both chosen children, a companionship because of the digital world. She had never chosen to be his friend. She'd simply accepted him because she had to. That was when he'd realized that no one would ever like him for who he was.

Where was he now? Daisuke's legs were sore and burning from the effort, his eyes glazed over, he wasn't even sure if he'd been running three minutes or thirty. Maybe if he kept running just a bit more he could get away, forget the end of the story, forget what had happened. Maybe he wouldn't ever have to remember... Taichi's face when he brought him to the chosen children's annual picnic. Who was he? What was his name? Daisuke didn't want to remember. Someone from another school... they'd met at a soccer game, maybe. He wasn't sure on the details. All he knew was the way his stomach lurched when he saw them kiss. Taichi-senpai was gay. He HAD had a chance. All this time his stupid idolization, his stupid crush... he could have said something. Taichi wouldn't have laughed or yelled or punched him. He might have...

But it didn't matter now. That tall dark haired boy had his lips on Taichi's, and Taichi's hands on his ass, and... Daisuke shook his head, trying not to remember. It didn't matter. That one didn't last. Of course, neither did the next three and Daisuke wondered how soon he'd hear about Taichi's most recent boy toy. All of them were gorgeous. All of them were completely willing to do whatever Taichi said. All of them were... apparently insufficient. He wondered if they felt better or worse than he did... they'd at least gotten to touch him. "Damnit... where the hell am I!" Daisuke stopped finally, staring around him. "...Uh oh..." This wasn't an area of Tokyo he'd been to before. This was like those streets in the dramas Jun watched that were practically porn, but not quite. Sure enough, when Daisuke turned he saw the entrance to a love hotel. "...Thanks, feet," Daisuke grumbled, looking down at his shoes. "Just where I wanted to go."

Sitting on a bench at the side of the road-a bus stop? He wasn't sure-Daisuke leaned back and stared up at the sky, wishing Tokyo didn't have so much smog. He'd have liked to see stars tonight. He got a few looks from couples and businessmen who were walking down the street, but he just looked right back. He had every right to collapse on a bench in the cold with no coat and pant like a dog if he wanted to, damnit! Still, he remembered what he'd been told happened to the students that were caught by their teachers hanging out in the red light district. (He'd always wondered why the teachers were down here in the first place, what was their excuse? "I was just making sure no students were buying porn and beer, that's all!") It didn't matter if he was just passing through or not, it was an unwritten school rule that you didn't go to places like this, and if he was caught he'd get detention at best. "Stupid school can fuck off. Not like I'm gonna pass anyway," he mumbled, his breath almost caught.

He felt the bench shift a bit as someone sat down next to him, but he didn't bother looking up. It was probably just some drunken old man waiting for the bus home anyway. "Money... that's what I need..." He reached into his pocket for his wallet and cursed under his breath, realizing he'd left it at home. "Great escape plan, Daisuke. No money, no coat, I'm gonna freeze to death if I stay out here... and the teachers'll just say 'Well, he got low grades on his practice tests! He had no real future.' So it's not like I'll be missing out on anything anyway."

Fully submerged in his self pity, he almost didn't notice when the person next to him wrapped their coat around his shoulders. It was still warm, and he almost accepted it, until he remembered where he was. 'Oh, I get it. Schoolboy out on his own talking to himself about how he's got nowhere to go...' Daisuke's head shot up and he glared at the person, yanking the coat off and throwing it at him, he yelled, "Fuck off you old pervert! Go find some other piece of ass before I make you a eunuch!"

Taichi pulled the coat off his face, shaking his head to get the hair out of his face, and he laughed. "Well, guess I didn't need to worry about why you were here alone... you can take care of yourself!"

Daisuke froze, the angry expression on his face fading, quickly getting replaced with a deep blush. "Taichi-senpai! What... I..." He hung his head and sighed. "Sorry. I thought you were a drunk." Still, he wondered why his friend and idol was here in the first place... though he had a few ideas-ideas that did nothing to help the blush go away.

Taichi smirked and reached over, putting the coat back around Daisuke's shoulders. "No, I just know too many of them." A few of the guys from school decided it was a good idea to come get drunk on a school night and forget any money to pay for it. I came down here to bail them out. Of course, I'll charge them interest. Being the only sober guy around is pretty beneficial. ...What about you? What're you doing here?" Taichi glanced back behind Daisuke towards the love hotel and wondered.

Daisuke quickly sat up straight and gulped. This looked bad. "Well I just... wanted to go for a walk!" he said in an almost panicked tone of voice. 'Not like I can say 'Well, I was angsting so bad that I decided to run away...' "Y'know, help clear my head!"

Taichi smiled and watched him quietly for a long moment, then finally spoke. "Y'know... when my entrance exam came up I didn't run away. I just played video games. For hours at a time, once I even forgot to sleep! The tests make everyone act crazy. Nothing to be embarrassed about"

"I guess not... they should outlaw them or something! It's too stressful!" Daisuke suddenly realized he was about to say something stupid, but the words were already formed and coming out of his mouth. "My parents want me to study all the time, even instead of sleeping or eating... and everyone else seems fine but I keep failing the practice exams, and Ken doesn't understand 'cause he's a genius and he doesn't even have to take them and my dad said he'd make me go live with my crazy grandma in Okinawa if I fail and she doesn't even have a TV! And my mom keeps asking if I'm done being gay yet and Jun just rubs it in my face that she's got a boyfriend and I don't have anyone..." Daisuke took a deep breath, his mind racing, the tension that had built up finally exploding like a volcano, and even though he bit his tongue hard, the words somehow found a way out. "And every time I DO find time to sleep I dream about you! You are your stupid perfect boyfriends and your stupid perfect life and your stupid perfect family and your totally perfect body and... and... how totally unperfect I am."

Taichi seemed stunned, and Daisuke thought that was appropriate. He, on the other hand, felt humiliated. Once again he'd screwed up. Once again he'd ruined everything. Taichi might be gay but he sure as hell wasn't going to treat Daisuke the same now that he knew. Taichi was perfect. Daisuke was about as far from that as he could get. He'd get rejected. He'd have to go home, sleep for an hour, go to school, fail his test, and move to Okinawa. Okinawa, where he'd have to learn to make paper cranes, since that's about all his grandma seemed to do in her senile old state. At least then he'd be away from here. Away from years of embarrassment and humiliation and total utter rejection.

But then Taichi's hand was resting on his own, which were fisted in his lap so tightly his knuckles were white. Then Taichi's thumb was rubbing over Daisuke's hand gently, forcing them to relax. And Taichi's eyes were looking right at him in a way that said nothing but 'How can I reject you without hurting your feelings?' And Daisuke panicked. "I have to go! I have school... I have the tests, I have to go..." And then Daisuke was running, Taichi's jacket still on, back towards his home.

"It wasn't that bad, but am I glad it's over! The past three days have been the worst; I hope high school is easier!" Takeru said, shouldering his schoolbag. He laughed and took Hikari's hand, the image of the happy couple.

"If we can survive this, high school will be simple." Hikari said in the same sweet tone she said everything that was addressed to Takeru. It made Daisuke want to punch both of them. How dare they be so mushy in front of him? Didn't they know his life was over?

Still... "I did okay, I think..." Daisuke mumbled. His two friends smiled at him.

"That's great! All the studying finally got through that thick skull, huh?" Takeru knocked on Daisuke's head, tapping his goggles just enough to knock them out of place.

Daisuke scowled and adjusted them. "Yeah, yeah. Somethin' like that. At any rate, I don't think I failed. Probly passed with flying D's." He knew he'd been more focused, he knew he wasn't going to get rejected by every school in the country. He might have to take a few remedial classes, but he was fine with that. He should have been happy. But he also knew he was more focused because he hadn't wanted to think about anything else. Definitely not about what had happened the other night. All three days he'd spent sleeping and taking the tests. His stomach growled, reminding him how little he'd eaten. An energy bar here, a cookie there, it wasn't the best way to live.

Hikari nodded happily. "We'll have a huge party when we all pass! Mimi-san should be back soon for summer break, I'm sure she'll be thrilled to arrange it. Everyone can come!"

Daisuke sighed and slowed his pace, dragging his feet. First his stomach, now his eyes were unfocusing. He was going to sleep for a month after this. And eat... oh, how he was going to eat. "Everyone, huh?" Reaching his locker, he leaned against the wall and stared into space. 'Two less things to stress over, right? No more entrance exams, no more images of living in a cardboard box, and no more... worrying about... if he'd ever have a chance with...'

"Oniichan!" Hikari smiled and hugged Taichi as he approached. "What are you doing here?" Daisuke felt his whole body tense. His stomach did that funny lurching thing again, and boy did it hurt with nothing in it. He glanced around for something to throw up in.

"Well, I was thinking pizza," Taichi's voice sounded like it always did.

Daisuke didn't dare turn to look at all of them; his eyes were firmly fixed to the strange brown stain on the carpet in front of locker #214. Come to think of it, it looked a bit like a heart that had been shredded into a million pieces—maybe a rejected valentine, even. Daisuke sighed and wondered if he'd inherited his ability for overdramatic self pity from Yamato when he got the digimental of friendship.

Takeru chirped in, grinning widely at Taichi. "As long as it's your treat!"

Taichi's voice again... only this time, it was different. Daisuke wasn't sure how it was different, but it was. Almost... softer. "Takeru, I only pay if it's a date. You've got one Yagami, you don't need two"

"Oniichan!" Hikari tried to sound scandalized, but it was ruined by her laugh.

Suddenly Taichi's voice was right in Daisuke's ear, and he was leaning against the lockers as well, so close to Daisuke that he could feel the body heat radiating from the older boy. "What are you looking at?" Taichi cocked his head as if he was trying to look more closely, making Daisuke shudder just slightly at the feeling of the older boy's head leaning against his own.

He thought for sure his throat was closed up, or his body was frozen, or something dramatic would happen like he would just die right there, maybe melting into a weird goo. Instead, he opened his mouth and replied just like he always had. "That stain. It's weird looking." Daisuke pointed to it and fell silent again.

"Looks kinda like someone spilled a coke," Taichi mused, not seeing anything special about the splattered pattern on the otherwise clean floor.

"Yeah, guess so," Daisuke mumbled, not moving from the spot. If Taichi wanted to talk, he'd have to do the talking.

'Then again, Taichi never was one for talking, was he?' Daisuke realized when he found Taichi's face in his own, the older boy's lips only inches from his own.

"Your tests are over, right?" Taichi asked, the words sending a breeze of hot distinctly Taichi smelling breath onto Daisuke's face.

Now he was frozen. His body was frozen solid... but it was jell-o at the same time. 'Frozen jell-o... this is stupid, I feel like something that can't even happen!' "Yeah. Yeah, tests are over." Daisuke's face was once again bright red; he could feel his cheeks warming with a blush. 'Frozen jell-o that's hot...'

Taichi smiled. "Good. I didn't wanna distract you from your studying." He cocked his head and the smile widened. "Wanna get some pizza?"

'The hell is he up to! Does he think this's funny or did he totally misunderstand what I told him the other night! ...Fine. He wants to play this way, I will, too.' "Your treat?" Daisuke smirked.

Taichi seemed to consider, then nodded. "Yeah. My treat."

Time stopped. Or at least, Daisuke wished it would. The stress, the self hatred, the constant knowledge that no one that really knew him would ever like him-and Taichi definitely knew him-was suddenly gone the instant his lips touched his idol's. Taichi must have been surprised by the way Daisuke's arms were suddenly around his neck, or the way the kiss intensified quickly, almost desperately. Daisuke didn't know. He was too busy kissing Taichi with everything he had. He barely registered Hikari's gasp of surprise and Takeru goading him on. Time should have stopped...

'Then again...' Daisuke heard a soft moan from somewhere and realized with some embarrassment that it was him... but it didn't matter. Taichi's lips were against his, and they were soft and warm. And his arms... they were wrapped around Dasiuke's waist. And his hands, they were touching his back, their presence a warm comfort. Daisuke let Taichi lead the kiss back into calmer waters, the desperation fading. He wasn't getting rejected. Taichi wasn't disgusted. And no one was laughing. All that was happening was... Taichi was kissing back.

If you're a fan of taisuke, come join us at www.taidai. The only taisuke shrine complete with loads of fics, art, doujinshi scans, and more. We also have a mailing list!


End file.
